Art, inglorious and dubstep... wha.

Everytime I get the time or capacity to do something artistic I feel asthough i've wrongly chosen academics over creativity. I'm aware i'm no Rembrandt or Denis Peterson, but I have such a passion for art. I don't want it as a hobby anymore, I want it as my main focus. But that is absoloutley impossible.
On a lighter note...
Inglorious basterd's is a masterpiece. The dialogue, cinematography, plot, music, performances.. just perfection. Without sounding like a pretentious twat, i'd recommend it to anyone.

Some nice irrelevant music.. this post is so random.

Escapism.

I wish I could escape reality, not in some melodramatic wawawa fml way.

Just as reality is offering nothing appealing to me, i'm living day by day with procrastination and a half arsed mentality that is eating away at my motivation. I feel directionless.

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life"

Lame.

The irony that i'm ill just days before the clotheshow is so very annoying, I really hope that I haven't caught something serious. This is probably the worst i've felt since I can't remember when, not even being over dramatic haha. My attendance was suffering & cos of this, it's only going to get worse! That, accompinied with all the work i'm getting behind on is pretty frustrating.
However! I've been saving up for ages and regardless of illness, i'm still gonna go. :)

Richard.

Today was a brief reminder of your absence. You were the reason I ever gained interest in art. However, nothing I've done or could ever creatively achieve would emulate your talent. I believe in no heaven or hell, or the need to romanticise your parting. Your actions would have pushed you far into limbo. So it's is a good thing I despise religion then :) I miss you.

This song is so misinterpreted, it's not glorifying religion at all.. It's asking the question "How can there possibly be a god if so many atrocities happen?" No extent of excuses or religious explanation can answer that question, ever.

Hate.

"I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke."

---

That, to me, is the closest definition of hate I've ever encountered.
I want to be a less hateful person. I think the world of my friends and allow them the benefit of the doubt, but I am quick to bear grudges and my preconceptions are usually negative. I'm more cynical than I am considerate. I always carry hate, of course to some extent that will never leave and it is fully warranted, but I want to be able to see the good in people more easily. It's easier to fixate on flaws than it is to appreciate something, be it in people, objects or your environment.

The next piece of art I do has to be fight club themed..

I long for clarity..

<3

(mega old photo)
I love her more than anything in this world.
Without a doubt the most selfless, beautiful, wonderful person I've ever known.
Plus she likes Johnny Depp, the woman has taste.

Wishful thinking.

Pastels, florals, studs and bodycon. How I wish I could grow a money tree, and longer hair come to think of it.

Sunshine.

Cillian Murphy is so under-rated as an actor. He is anti-celebrity and doesn't allow any media interference in his personal life.. so different from other famous people. I really do respect him.

One day.

This, my dad sold about a year ago at Bonhams. The artist is Russian and I think it was a pre-sketch to a master oil. The mark making on it is so precise, it captures the action so perfectly. One day I wish I can accomplish something to this degree of quality, I can dream.

Tim.

"Movies are like an expensive form of therapy for me."

New.

This is probably intended to be a creative diary :)